Hello. I'm Zoë, and I've been overthinking everything since 1997. Sometimes I forget that I'm not actually friends with One Direction. My feels are running the ship now, they took over long ago. The more you get to know me, the more annoying and crazy you realise me to be, so you may want to keep your distance. This blog is a pointless clusterfuck of everything, and it will likely make no sense to you, but it's all relevant to me. I'm useless and people hate me :) Christchurch, New Zealand.
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disowns:

honestly i hate when people try to sugar coat shit like if you don’t like me or don’t wanna hang or don’t wanna talk to me just fucking tell me don’t keep ignoring me and expect me to figure out the hint like that’s such a bitch ass move i’d rather hear it from you than be ignored 99% of the fucking time.

i like girls who look like they kill people for a living

image

raging-woodcock:

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

We should probably call the police who knows how long it’s been in the river.

obamallamatime:

Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested

lnnea:

I’m trying to clean but he wants to come with me all the time so I put him in the basket so I can carry him more easily and he’s very happy about it

jarrodis:

single, not sure how to mingle

sadurday:

oh man the best is when a dude is like "you’re not wife material." fucking good. i want to be totalitarian dictator material; blood sucking life ruiner material; fucking bulletproof immortal drug lord material. not your fucking wife you gross asshole. 

nue:

life hack: can’t do homework if you don’t have a home. burn it down you piece of shit